I have read my favourite astrologer’s forecast and I must say, for me, this year is all about keeping patience.
Motherhood can be an overwhelming feeling. You are at a place where you can feel uneasy sometimes. You always have to be on your toes. On an individual level, my self-esteem is on an immense low. “You should celebrate motherhood and be happy,” my mum says. When I see other women, however, I wonder how they come out all stress-free and smiling. And when I see other women stepping out for work or dressed up for a party, I can’t help but wonder how my life has changed. I don’t even have time to comb my hair.
Talking about my writing life, I’m on a miserable state since a few months. I can’t stop checking my mails (spam box included), but none of the editors seem to like my ideas. What are the current trends? Am I not aware of them? Why can’t any editor trust my eight-year writing experience? I have no clue. You might want me to chill, forget all and be happy with the baby, but the fact is, I loved it when my bylines came in magazines and newspapers, but the reality is beyond belief. My heart aches every time I open my inbox and it’s a terrible feeling to face every day.
Talking about recreational activities and hobbies, travel has become a pain. There is so much of packing and planning required with a one-year-old that we often just sit at home and let the weekend go by on its own. So that’s a cut down on some travel inspiration too.
Yesterday, I was in an auto, on the way to my dentist for the last session of my root canal therapy, and I thought, what do I have to look forward to? No stories in print. No money of my own. No nothing. But then I thought, what does God want me to sense now?
May be, there is someone out there who has never been blessed with a baby. May be, there is someone with a slipped disc and cannot step out to work. May be, there is someone on a hospital bed, fighting a random disease. How can these people find inspiration then?
I need to look beyond my superficial issues. I need to practice gratitude and be hopeful about my life (no matter what the newspapers say). May be, God wants me to knock another door when it comes to my writing. May be, I need to try poetry or fiction. So, yes, I need to stretch every day, so that I can face life with the best of me, come what may.
We are in-charge of our own happiness and miseries. Certainly, it’s not my year to shine as an artist, but that doesn’t mean I need to lose hope. I have got an amazing story to share in my next post. Till then, I’d want you try a simple recipe in the kitchen. Be grateful of whatever simple things we have in life. Because, every day is not a party, and all stones are not diamonds.